When it comes to the important relationships in your life, you will experience joyous moments as well as challenging ones. Love and harmony are hard-won, and you must focus on caring for your loved one even when you mess up. Here is how to say sorry to your loved one the right way.
Focus on the Apology First
When you talk to your loved one or partner about something you did to hurt them, it is best to focus on the apology first. If you start with a story, excuses, or some other pretext, you will not only alienate them, but you will also make it seem like you only care about your feelings. Instead, apologies should be about confessing, asking forgiveness, and prioritizing the other person. When you are apologizing to your loved one, focus on saying sorry first, and let the rest follow.
Express Your Gratitude for Them
One aspect to include in your apology is gratitude. By thanking them for how they have loved you despite your shortcomings, you are communicating your gratitude for their relationship with you. However, it is important to steer away from blatantly buttering them up—you do not want them to feel like you are compensating with compliments. Instead of listing out all your favorite things about them or trying to force them to focus on your sweet talk, honestly lay out your apology. You can more easily say that you are sorry by using straightforward statements.
Avoid Making Any Excuses if Possible
Excuses ruin apologies. Instead of trying to explain your inner struggles or outside circumstances, focus on articulating the apology and issue from your loved one’s perspective. Try not to say “but” or make a quick escape. Try comprehending the problem and pain at hand and affirm what your loved one is feeling. Excuses are the fastest way to invalidate the other person’s feelings, and they give the impression that you expect immediate forgiveness.
Do Not Expect a Quick Reply
When you are the one apologizing, you do not get to decide the speed of the other person’s reply. Depending on the severity of the transgression, do not expect everything to go back to normal right away. When you apologize to someone you have hurt deeply, they must process both the event itself and the emotional consequences of your apology. Though apologizing is always the right thing to do—honesty is the best policy, after all—it does not instantly make everything okay for the other person. They still need to work through the pain and hurt they feel. When they do reply, thank them for what they say, even if it is not the answer you want.
Do Not Pressure Them for Forgiveness
When saying sorry to your loved one, do not pressure them for forgiveness. Doing this will push them away and make you look worse in their eyes. You have already hurt them, and by repeatedly asking their forgiveness, you are focusing on your own feelings of discomfort rather than their pained feelings. Pushing someone to forgive you before they are ready can damage the relationship you have with them even more. By avoiding emotional selfishness, you will show the other person that you are a worthy recipient of their grace when they grant it.
Give Them an Apology Gift
A great way to amplify your apology is with the perfect gift. The proper gift can show a certain level of sincerity that is otherwise lacking. Flowers are a great start. In fact, rose gifts like ours at Love Is A Rose can work as both a romantic gesture and an apologetic gift. Working at a relationship takes time and effort, so show your loved one how sorry you are with the help of an apology gift. They will be sure to take the meaning to heart and consider reconciling with you.
Avoid Initiating Physical Contact Without Consent
If your loved one or partner is upset with you, they will likely want to avoid contact with you. Avoid initiating physical contact, even with actions as simple as a hug. Unless they give you consent that they are ready for physical attention, it is best to wait. If you do accidentally try to give them a quick kiss or hug, apologize for overreaching and express to them that you just want them to feel loved by you.
Allow Them To Ask Any Questions They Need
When dealing with a particularly complex or difficult issue, your partner may want to ask questions about it. This is normal and you should expect it. In some ways, you owe it to them and the health of your relationship to be vulnerable and honest, even when it pains you. These questions can be unnerving or embarrassing to answer, but they will make your relationship stronger in the end. Showing the other person that you are not afraid to bare your soul reinforces their significance to you—they will see how much you mean to them through your honesty.
Put Extra Thought Into the Apology
Rather than simply apologizing in a conversational setting, consider other ways to make amends with your loved one. Write them a note or a letter expressing your apology. Consider doing the chores around the house that your loved one usually manages. Or pick them up from work and go out of your way to pamper them. When putting extra thought into your apology, plan out what you want to say in advance. It can be difficult to muster up the courage at that moment, so having a clear statement in mind can make the process much simpler. At the end of the day, you want your loved one to feel supported and loved amidst the hurt you caused.
Knowing how to say sorry to your loved one the right way can save, support, and nourish the relationships you cherish in life. If you have any questions about which gifts best fit your apology, contact us here at Love Is A Rose for more details.