Relationship Tune-Up Tip : Do the Two-Step. Part 1

Keeping Your Relationship Running Smoothly Takes Some Paying Attention 

If you are looking to enhance your relationship, there are two things that you can do.  I try to do them regularly because they really work!  Here is Step One.  When I have these upsetting thoughts about my guy, the ones that linger and won’t go away, I know it is time to talk about them.  Keeping them inside only keeps me distant from him.  I will let him know that there are some thoughts that are in my head that I want to let go of and I would like his help.  Here is the BIG thing!  Do not blame him (or her).  What works is saying these are “MY thoughts that are upsetting ME.”  He (or she)  may have no clue about what it is that is bugging you.  Discussing these things, looking at ways to work out the kinks or compromise, makes me feel free and open.  In the end, there is the room to fully express my love.  Here is a message from Dr. Phil about his relationship that sums it up.  “We made a deal early on to handle things as they came up before they got big.  We’ve had a lot of small things — schedules, parenting, kids — but we’ve never let problems build up and then had a big blow-up.”

Move on to Step Two.

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Kathy Fey

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